Lauren Jimeson Blog – New Moms Its Okay to Worry
I took Macks to the allergist last week for an allergy test. He’s suffered from eczema since the day he was born and while the pediatrician kept telling me it was environmental related, I always had a gut feeling that it might be something more. And, just as I’d suspected, my gut was right. We left with four epi-pens, a diagnosis that he’s allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, and sesame, and a whole lot of worry.
I’m learning that it comes in cycles. Just as soon as you stop worrying about one thing, there’s something else to take it’s place. Most days I wonder what kind of mother I’d be if I didn’t worry so much about my children.
Since the day Harlan was born, I’ve learned that life is much more than just me, life is my children. I never knew that it was possible for your heart to live outside of you, but I see it everyday in those three children that I’m lucky enough to call mine. While being their mom is the most beautiful and fulfilling thing in the entire world, it’s also one that comes with a lot more than I’d ever imagined.
I’ll never forget the very first time that I brought Harlan to the doctor and our pediatrician gave me a concerned look after putting her on the scale. Naturally, as a new mom, my heart sank and the anxiety settled in. He asked me way too many questions about what she was eating, how many times a day she was eating, how long she was eating, how many wet diapers, etc. I felt like I was being interrogated at a police station. Rather than listening to my responses, he tossed them aside and told me that how I was feeding Harlan incorrectly and that I needed to find an alternative way to feed her so that she would gain the appropriate amount of weight for her age.
As a naive new mom, I didn’t question his reasoning. After all, he was the doctor, not me. So we followed along with his plan. And unfortunately, his plan didn’t work. She didn’t gain the weight he wanted. And the worry settled in again.
That was the first moment that I realized motherhood is far more than the overwhelming amount of happiness and love that you feel for your child. While that’s what drives us to want the very best for our children, motherhood also comes with pain, guilt, sadness, and worry.
On top of her feeding issues, I also worried about Harlan’s sleep habits, whether I was pumping enough, if she was meeting all of her developmental milestones. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that motherhood felt like I was treading water with my head barely above the surface.
It wasn’t just those new days of motherhood that gave me those feelings of anxiety. I had the same feeding issues with both Avery and Macks, which caused an entirely new set of worries. This time, I was more confident in myself, which is why I stuck to my motherly instincts. While the nervousness was still there, I was more adept to do what I thought was best.
I’ll always struggle with when it’s really okay to worry and when I’m worrying too much, but there’s one thing that I tell myself when I find myself nervous about one of the kids. With love there is worry. If I didn’t care so deeply for my children, then there would be no reason to worry about them. Worrying is a natural part of parenthood that no one tells you about. Just as it’s your instinct to love this person that you brought into the world, so is worrying about them too. That’s what makes this journey of motherhood unlike any other.
I’m so excited to announce my partnership with Momsense, Inc. I’ve been named the Brand Ambassador for Momsense and I am truly so excited to share it with all of you. You know I’ve been very vocal about my breastfeeding journey (and struggles) with all three children. I write about it because I’m passionate about it and I love this community that has supported me when through it all. Momsense is a part of that journey. Momsense has a Smart Breastfeeding Meter, which is a wearable lifestyle device for nursing mothers. The Smart Breastfeeding Meter uses a patented technology to measure a baby’s breast milk volume intake while nursing and is used as an aid to enhance and prolong the breastfeeding process. I remember day after day of going to visit my lactation consultant because I was concerned about Macks’ weight. Momsense helps relieve some of that anxiety. I can’t wait to share more about the Smart Breastfeeding Monitor with you in the upcoming months!